Are you concerned about your teenager?
Do you feel like you no longer know who your child is?
Do you miss the close connection you had to your child when they were younger?
As a parent, you may feel like you’re in a very hopeless situation. The sweet child that you once knew has completely changed and may no longer have interest in talking or spending time with you. They are often consumed with their phone sending text messages or constantly online on social media networks.
If you’re like many parents in this situation, it can evoke feelings of anger and despair. You have given so much to your child and you’re hardly receiving anything in return.
I want you to know that you’re not alone!
There are real reasons why you are seeing these changes in your teen! Developmental changes are occurring on the physical, social, emotional, and cognitive level in your teenager rapidly. It is often very confusing for everyone with the amount of change occurring.
Just to give you an idea, here are some examples of the developmental tasks your teen may be facing right now:
1. Physical
- Adolescents begin to develop primary and secondary sex characteristics.
- Growth spurts occur.
- Boys might develop deepened voices and broadened shoulders.
- Body hair starts to develop for both boys and girls.
- Girls start to develop breasts and menstruation begins.
2. Cognitive
- Increase in abstract thinking.
- Egocentric thinking.
- Might be more interested and concerned with politics, philosophy and social issues.
- Sets new goals.
- Cognitive changes often lead to more arguing, jumping to conclusions, being self-centered and being overly dramatic.
3. Emotional
- Identity development deepens which involves a more complex version of one’s self concept.
- Experimentation in the areas of appearance, dress, music choices, or general interests.
- Inflated or low self esteem leading to acting out or mood issues such as depression and anxiety.
4. Social
- Shift can often be seen from family to peer groups.
- Romantic/sexual relationships begin to develop and increase in importance.
- Spending more time with friends than family and experimenting with new peer groups.
While these are all pretty typical changes you might expect from your teen, it can be incredibly helpful during this time for your teen to have someone to talk to other than you or their friends to process all of these changes that are occurring with their body and mind.
It does not mean that you are doing anything wrong or they don’t love you!
However, providing your teen with professional support can be the decisive factor in terms of them making good, well thought choices versus impulsive, unhealthy ones. I’ve devoted a large part of my career to providing teen counseling and I find that I connect naturally with this age group since it’s something I really love.
In addition to providing teen counseling for typical developmental issues, I also have extensive experience working with teens that are experiencing more serious mental health concerns. I worked for many years as a specialist at the CAPPS clinic at UCLA where teens are treated for issues such as early signs of Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder.
If you suspect your teenager is suffering from a more serious issue they may be experiencing one or more of the following symptoms:
- Feeling very sad or withdrawn for two or more weeks
- Trying to harm or kill themselves, or making plans to do so
- Overwhelming fear for no reason, at times with a racing heart or fast breathing
- Involved in multiple fights, using a weapon, or wanting badly to hurt others
- Severe, out-of-control behavior that can hurt themselves or others
- Not eating, throwing up or using laxatives to lose weight
- Intensive worries or fears that get in the way of daily activities
- Extreme difficulty in concentrating
- Serious challenges at school
- Repeated use of drugs or alcohol
- Severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships
- Drastic changes in behavior or personality
If your teen is showing any of the above signs or has already been diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder, teen counseling is more of a necessity than a luxury. As your teenager learns about the symptoms they are struggling with, why they are there, and how to alleviate them, they can finally experience the richness of the stage of life they are in.
Whether you sit in on a session or come on your own, teen counseling can also provide you with the knowledge you need to help your child through this difficult time. Sometimes, school changes or accommodations are necessary and I can be helpful in educating you about this by making suggestions, as well as communicating with your teen’s teachers. I can also help make referrals to psychiatrists and other community resources if necessary.